Nothing is ever permanent

I wake up today the way I woke up yesterday in hopes to see the world has changed. It hasn’t. 2020 has been the year I feel a lot has been taken from me the most. Down to me feeling like I lost my right hand from having numbness after my 9th Spinraza injection not going too well, going through a really deep depression thinking I was fine to losing my self control feeling that the Victor I once knew.. no longer existed, staying at my aunts house because I needed a little change of environment and my family wanted to keep a closer eye on me after being placed on a 1799 to a 5150, to trying my hardest to get myself off of the medication that was proscribed from my Psychiatrist convincing my family “I was okay”, feeling trapped because I was in a chair and I couldn’t exactly get up and go, then to waking up another day hearing we’re going on lockdown because of the Coronavirus. 

What I once thought was going to be weeks, turned into months.. long months and counting. Woke up to another tomorrow hearing what had happened to another African American dying from unlawful police force. Seeing the violence and hatred on so many of our own people. 

Our world is a menace right this second and my hope after all of this is over is we don’t go back to normal because what we thought was “normal” clearly wasn’t working if it brought a lot of us feeling divided. It is time for a change in a good way not just for me, but for you too. It is 2020. It’s not another year it is a whole new decade! Things needed to change and yes, we may be going through a tough time right this moment, but our next upcoming years hopefully will be filled with more love, peace, and dignity.

I don’t know when things will change, but I do know is “not all storms lasts forever.” What comes after pouring rain?.. rainbows and sunshine with the smell of fresh air. 


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