How to Understand Life a Little More
It is the good, the bad, and the ugly that ultimately shapes us into who we are and also who we can become.
Understand that where you are is right where you need to be, however in order to move getting ahead from where you are mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.. You are going to need to learn through reflection because everything we do within our todays from the thoughts we think, to the reactions we react to, down to our overall responses when life shakes us up can either be looked upon as something that is trying to break you or on the other hand trying to create you. “Grow through what you go through.” Whatever it is that tries rocking your world causing you turmoil has the potential to help you understand more of yourself and also have a greater understanding of life. To put it simply: The potential to bring roundabout benefits for the tomorrows to come.
Let me give you an example: My disability Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) Type Two has and oftentimes can restrict me quite a lot from a lot. My high school graduation experience story: Right before I was about to receive my high school diploma walking (in my case roll lol) across the stage I had fallen ill having an pneumonia and practically two collapsed lungs having me needing to be in the ICU having a face mask to assist me with my breathing. To put my breathing in perspective you want your oxygen stats to show 100 and my normal is 98-100. My breathing during this pneumonia experience was below 40 and sometimes would drop below 30 when I would fall asleep having me wake up to a room full of medical staff waking me up using their (I think knuckles) rubbing against my chest, which doesn’t tickle waking me up saying “Victor.. Victor… I need you to take a couple deep breathes” to help me bring in more oxygen because I was close to having none.
My hospitalization experiences has been quite the journey and I can talk A LOT about these experiences when comfortable. Eventually I will write a book telling and talking more about my own personal story going more in depth, but back to why I had brought this experience up.
In life I have discovered very early on that there are both positives and negatives with every experience, however if you can look for it. In this experience at the time being in the midst of being in the hospital having pneumonia and collapsed lungs the negative is to be candid I almost didn’t make it to see another tomorrow.. I didn’t. Again I will eventually talk more in depth about this, but I can remember vividly holding in my tears and sobbing right before falling asleep one night because I didn’t want my mom to know I was scared about this pneumonia experience. I’m sure she was scared too and there were countless numbers of times I could see the fear in her eyes wondering if today would be the last she’d ever get to see her son. I held in my tears in silence because I knew that once I showed I was afraid I knew it would’ve torn my mother apart making her possibly believe tonight could be her sons last. She showed me strength, so I showed her strength. I cried this night in silence praying to god I was ready because to me this night was my end, but I prayed saying “before I go please deliver my mother the strength needed and would please have my mother be okay.” Again the negative within this experience is my respiratory was severely restricted. What’s the positive? Is there a positive from this experience? As I had said earlier is within every experience there are both positives and negatives, however if we look for it. The positive within this experience is I did turn out to be okay. I did turn out to see another tomorrow and many more tomorrows that came soon after. For me though I personally like to be aware of the negatives life has to offer, but I see many more positives than I ever do see negatives. Another positive from this experience is I get to have a mini family reunion seeing the doctors, nurses, and medical staff that I have developed great relationships with. Another positive from this experience is I had met new people, which soon after I got to know more genuine people having an even more relationships with that I still stay in contact with today.
As I am writing this it is currently 1:59am and I am tired, so I will end it here.
But again I want you to understand that in life it isn’t easy and in life you may experience things you may wish you hadn’t. But I want you to know that if it wasn’t for our good days, if it wasn’t for our bad days, if it wasn’t for our ugly days, and everything in between. We wouldn’t be who we are and we most definitely wouldn’t have the knowledge, the strength, the ability to help others get through what they think they can’t get through what you had already gone through, and many many many more positive and great things that come after everything you/ we have been through and persevere through today...
Remember: Grow through what you go through.
Much love,
~Victor
I want to shoutout my second home Valley Children’s Hospital for all and everything they have done for my mother and I. I love you.
News media coverage on Victor's High School graduation experience:
https://www.fresnobee.com/news/local/article154770929.html
https://www.fresnobee.com/opinion/readers-opinion/article158673544.html
https://www.fresnobee.com/news/local/education-lab/article154772459.html